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1、玛雅今晚想约会Mayawantstododatenighttonight.她不需要卧床休息了吗Issheoffpregnancybedrest?没她想在床上约会No,shewantstodothewholethinginbed,所以我得把一切计划好Igettoplaneverything,她还想让我“把她袜子惊艳掉”andshewantsmetoknockhercompressionsocksoff.这是指上♥床♥吗Isthatsex?不你们可以来个泡泡浴No.Youcoulddoaspongebath还可以在浴缸里放点椰子油andthenyoucouldputco
2、conutoilinthetub.那样也不错Thatwouldbenice.不椰子的味道原话是“让我想杀了你”No.Thesmellofcoconutmakesmewanttokillyou.你别再引用别人的话了Youhavetostopwiththequotething,都让我开始可怜你和你的生活了itsmakingmesadforyouandyourlife.不会吧不会吧Noway.Noway.全国房♥车盛会这可是车牌云集的地方NationalRVJamboree!Thatisalicenseplatejackpot.耶耶耶耶Themotherlode.我们可以拍到幻影车牌了
3、Wecouldgetthephantomplateitself,就是那些传说中并不存在的车牌theonethatsomesaydoesntevenexist.波多黎各PuertoRico!12号♥车请回复8车有问题要问Truck12pleaserespond.Truck8hasaquestion.你们觉得自己是俩废柴呢Doyouguysidentifyas,like,twoindividuallosers还是一坨废柴合体orjustlikeabiglumpofloser?再说一遍Comeagain?他们拍到一个好车牌Theygotalicenseplate.不只是一个车牌中看不中
4、用的东西Notjustoneplate,youchiseleddogs.我们马上要拍到所有车牌了赢得比赛rWereabouttowinthiscompetitionandgetallofthem.我才不相信你们的眼力Iwouldnttrustyoureyes,你刚竟说施莱德很“中看”youjustcalledShred,chiseled.我们就要去车牌天堂了各位Wereabouttoenterlicenseplateheaven,lads.胜券在握Victoryisours.8号♥车请回答Truck8,pleaserespond.阿科拉大街1243号♥发现臭鼬Rep
5、ortofaskunkat1243ArcolaAve.不No!8号♥车请求暂停接单Uh,truck8isrequestingtobeexcused,please.出医疗原因我们有医嘱的Formedicalreasons.Wehaveanote.调度中心12车询问8车位置Dispatch,truck12requeststruck8,slocation以帮助施以医疗帮助tohelpadministermedicalassistance.哼他们才不会来帮助No,theyrenotassisting!他们想截胡我们的车牌Theyretryingtostealourlicenseplate
6、honeypot!8号♥车在第四大道和主街交口Truck8isat4thandMain,玫瑰集市外面outsidetheRoseFairgrounds.谢谢你调度Thankyou,dispatch.感谢日号♥车又为我们上演了一集Andthishasbeenanotherepisodeofthe1.ovable1.osers,可爱的废柴starringtruck8施莱德播放主题曲Shred?Themesongme.哦是吗Really?你是个废柴但你很可爱Youaloser,butyourelovable.你是个废柴而且臭烘烘Yourealoser,andyoustin
7、k.你得按下这个按钮他们才能听到你Yougottapushthebuttondownifyouwantthemtohearyou.好了接下来这个州很小Now,thisnextstateweneverthought我们根本没想到能拍到we,dgetbecauseitssodangsmall.弗兰克请为大家展示海洋之州Frank,showmetheoceanstate.罗德岛州最小也是最腐♥败♥的州RhodeIsland,thesmallestandmostcorruptstate.就像美国的肾结石ItisthekidneystoneofAmerica.来见见辛格尔顿一
8、家吧MeettheSingletonfamily.人都是好人就是内部关系太乱Goodpeople,butveryunclearhowtheywereallrelated.看这一张1.ookatthatone.等等那是他儿子吗Wait,isthattheson?他们说下一个轮到我我撒丫子就跑了Yeah,theysaiditwasmyturnnextsoIran.你好臭把狗都臭到了Youreek.Youveupsetthedog.哦你们来了好吧Oh,theretheyare.Okay.嘿去过罗德岛吗Hey,everbeentoRhodeIsland?我等等谁被臭鼬喷广Wait,whogotskun
9、ked?对是我我被喷到了Yeah,thatsme.Ididgetskunked.问我搭档有没被喷到她没有Askmeifmypartnerdid.Shedidnot.人有时就是这么幸运Sometimesyougetlucky.你把我当人肉盾牌Youusedmeasahumanshield.好吧讲真真的很臭吗Ok,behonestIsitbad?我们人事部开会说过决不能评论员工的体味InourHRmeetingtheymakeitcleartonevercomment但我的天哪我请你出去onanemployeessmellbutohmygodpleasegooutside.真的很臭It,svery
10、bad.不行得让他先看看夏威夷车牌Nope.NotuntilheseestheHawaiiplate.我不小心拍成了视频但依然作数Iaccidentallyshotavideobutitstillcounts.依然作数Itstillcounts.施莱德Shred.我对不起我看不见1.Sorry,Ican,tsee.他看不见Hecantsee.不No.我们离大获全胜只剩一个州了西维吉尼亚Weareonestateawayfrom.totalvictory,WestVirginia.乡间小路带我回家吧Countryroads,takemehome.好吧我得把身上的臭气洗掉Ok,Igottagoge
11、tthisstenchoffme.拜托了Yeah,please.玛雅说得很清楚我问家时身上啥味都不能有Mayawasveryclearaboutmecominghomesmellingneutral.啥味都不能有Neutral!去吧我叫个闪送买♥♥点番茄汁给你泡一下Yougo,mgonnaPostMatessometomatojuiceforyoutosoakin.你能顺便叫个饼吗Canyouputsomecrackersinthatorder?或是其他能蘸番茄汁的东西Oranythingthatsdipableinthetomatostuff,ok?好的Ok.嘿妞
12、你有空吗Uh,heygirl.Doyouhaveasecond?有啊Yeah.没啊都很好No,nothingswrong.只不过你的绿卡前夫给你It,sjustyourgreencardex-husbanddroppedoff送来了邮件somemailforyou.哦好吧Oh,ok.六周前就到了真抱歉Sixweeksago.Sorryaboutthat.我是刚在书架文件夹下找到的Ijustfounditonmybookshelfunderthefolder还有一些我要给你的书andsomebooksmgonnagettoyou.这封来自美国国土安♥全♥部&heart
13、s;ThatonesfromtheUSDepartmentofHomelandSecurity.是啊Yeah.看起来很正式Itlooksofficial.我得先给你提个醒Ijustwantedtoflagthatforyou.天啊艾米丽Ohmygod,Emily.上面说我的入籍考试安排在10号♥Thissaysthatmycitizenshiptestisscheduledforthe10th.这个月的10号♥The10th?Ofthismonth?我死定了mtoast!这本破书我连翻都没翻过1haventevencrackedopenthisfreakin,boo
14、k!这这书还挺厚Oh,that,sa-thatsabigbook.我是个小学霸让我帮你吧msogoodatstudying.1.etmehelpyou.现在还是六周前这差别可老大了Now,orsixweeksagowhenitmighthavemadeadifference?说的好很高兴我们还能开玩笑Thatsgood.Yeah,mgladwerelaughingaboutthis.不过我超级想帮你Um.no,mverymotivatedtohelpyou因为我想让你留在这个国家becauseIwantyoutostayinthiscountry,而且我受不了别人生我气andalsoIreal
15、lycantstandpeoplebeingmadatme.前提是你真的生气了Ifyouremadatme.我分不清你到底有没有生气你生气了吗Icouldnttellifyouwereoryouwerentor-areyou?你真的想知道吗Doyouwantmetosay?不我不想知道No,Idontwanttoknow.咱们来先看看这些书吧1.etsjustgetintothosebooks.弗兰克有人报♥警♥说有只天鹅很凶Oh,um,heyFrank,weregettingacallaboutanaggressiveswan.在哪儿Where?奥克伍德乡村俱乐部Oh,urn,uh,Oa
