《读后续写:挽救中风的老太太.docx》由会员分享,可在线阅读,更多相关《读后续写:挽救中风的老太太.docx(4页珍藏版)》请在第壹文秘上搜索。
1、读后续写:挽救中风的老太太题目:1.ocatedinMuskegonHeights,Michigan,EdgewoodElementarySchoolhassetupacrisisresponsesystemthatgoessmoothlythere.Ithasdirectconnectionwithagenciessuchashospitals,thepolicestation.Manyteacherstherehavegiventheirpersonalphonenumberstostudentsandfamiliesincasetheyneedextrahelpaswell.There,
2、snodoubtthattheprimaryschoolisfamousforitsquicknessinemergencyresponse.InthemidstoftheCOVID-19pandemic,JuliaSmithbeganwhatwasonlyhersecondyearasafirstgradeteacherinavirtualclassroomattheschool.OneSeptemberafternoonafewweeksintotheschool,shereceivedacallfromMaryWhite,whowashavingtechnicaldifficulties
3、withhergranddaughterstoolsforonlinelearning.JuliaimmediatelyknewsomethingwaswrongwithMary.Thetwowomenhadspokennumeroustimesbefore,butJuliahadneverheardthegrandmothersoundquitelikethis.HerwordswereinsuchdisorderthatJuliacouldbarelyunderstandher,thoughshewasabletomakeoutthatMaryhadfallenfourtimesthatd
4、ay.Wasshegoingtohaveastroke(中风)?Juliawondered.Juliacalledherprincipal,CharlieGreen,tellinghimherconcern.FromJulia,GreenknewthatMary,stwograndchildren,agedfourandsix,wereprobablyhomealonewithher-thekids,parentswerekilledinatrafficaccidentseveralyearsagoandnowshewastheirprimaryguardian.Greenassuredher
5、thathewouldcallandcheckonMaryhimself.YetJuliastillfeltworried,soshegrabbedthehandbag,rushingout.JustlikeJulia,GreencouldbarelyunderstandMary,buthewasabletomakeouttheword“Kids”.Itcalleduphismemoriesofhisownfather,whohadsufferedastroke.Greenstillvividlyrememberedthesymptoms-suddenheadaches,confusion,d
6、ifferentvision,difficultyspeakingandunexpectedfalls-thathisfatherhadexperienced.nMarymustbehavingastroke/Greenthoughttohimself.HerealizeditWaSanemergencyWhelIGreenandtheOtherhvoteachersreachedthefamilyShomeIeSSthantenminuteslater,SeeirIgWhatWaShappening,theySighedinrelief”审题:HerealizeditNaSanemergen
7、cy.矛盾冲突+解决=情节走向(螺旋式。r渐进式?)所以Pl必须解决部分的问题。设计:什么场景?哪些人物?采取了什么措施?得到了什么样的回应?解决了哪部分问题?WhenGreenandtheOthertwoteachersreachedthefamilyshomeIeSSthantenminutesIatenSeeingWhatWaShappening,theySighedinrelief.设计:什么场景?哪些人物?最后问题得到了解决吗?如何解决的?怎么使用伏笔?如何安排好前文中各个人物的行为和结局?结尾怎么与前文的首段呼应?研读范文:Greenrealizeditwasanemergency
8、.(担心/所想)Marymightfaintatanytime.Ifshecouldntreceivetimelyhelp,shewouldsufferseverebraindamage,orevendie,whichwoulddefinitelyscarehertwograndchildren.(行动/所做)Concernedthatshewasinsuchacriticalsituationwhereeveryminutecountedforherlife,heimmediatelycalledthehospitaltofindheranambulance.(得到反应)Afterbeing
9、informedofwhatwasgoingon,twoteachersdroppedeverythingwithoutdelay,climbedintoGreenscarandsetoff.WhenGreenandtheothertwoteachersreachedthefamilyshomelessthantenminuteslater,seeingwhatwashappening,theysighedinrelief.(所看)Everythingwaswellinorder.(反应)ThedoctorsweregivingfirstaidtoMary,pressingonherchest
10、.(反应)Thetwokidslookedvisiblyshaken,closetotears.(反应)BesidethemstoodJulia,holdingtheminherarmsandcomfortingthem.(评价)Fortunatelyenough,thequickresponsefromJuliaandGreensavedMary,slife.(矛盾解决)Whenshecametoherself,shewasliftedtotheambulanceandrushedtothehospital.Everybody,sfacebrightenedupastheambulancef
11、adedaway.(呼应首段Duetotheemergencyresponsesystemandtheloveofthosecommittedteachers,alltheeffortswereworthit.)本次写作心得:先“读”,后“写北读时,要划出每一段的人物,概括主要情节,续写时将其作为伏笔。续写的首句,规定场景和主人公视角。可能两段为两个不同场景。续写,应安排好前文所有人物。结尾,最好与原文首段呼应。结尾,必须解决了主人公需解决的问题(人身安全、学习/工作/生活的困难、狭隘或错误的认知等)但无需添加人物或横生枝节。补充:读信息:Pl学校建立了快速的紧急反应系统(伏笔,下文必须用到)P2-3Julia老师发现Mary有中风前兆(语言组织混乱disorder,多次摔跤)(并非网络信号不好,语音断断续续)P4Green校长接到汇报,保证等会亲自去她家里查看。但JUlia依然担心,认为刻不容缓,她抓起包,冲了出去(所以她是最早行动起来帮助的人)。P5Green校长确认Mary一定快要中风,因为他过世的父亲之前就有这样的症状(Mary中风基本可以确定是事实,而不是虚惊,也只有这样,前文的种种铺垫才有必要)