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1、我想找RonaldUlyssesSwansonmlookingforRonaldUlyssesSwanson?他出去了我能捎个信给他吗Hesteppedout.CanItakeamessage?当然告诉他刚刚赢得了St.Elmo牛排馆的免费晚餐Sure.TellhimhejustwonafreedinnerfromSt.Elmosteakhouse.我就是RonSwansonmRonSwanson!你收到了传票祝你今天愉快Youvebeenserved.Haveaniceday.我不喜欢你1dontlikeyou.但我尊重你的努力ButIrespecttheeffort.哦天传票吗Oh,man
2、,subpoena?是哪个前妻Tammy一号♥还是Tammy二号♥Whichex-wifeisit,TammyoneorTammytwo?都不是Neither.显然JeremyJamm议员不开心ApparentlycouncilmanJeremyJammisnotpleased因为我在Leslie婚礼那晚给了他脸一拳thatIpunchedhiminthefaceonthenightofLeslieswedding.他要告我He,ssuingme.$13000的牙齿矫正手术费用$13,000fororthodonticsurgery,$6000的法琅质修复费用$6,
3、000forenamelrepair,还有四千六百万的精神损失费and$46millionforpsychologicaldamages.是啊这个数字听起来差不多Yeah,thatseemsaboutaccurate.那家伙真的是最烂的Thatguyistheworst.我们应该告Jamm的父母因为生了这么坨人类屎汉堡出来WeshouldsueJammsparentsforspawningahumanturdburger.Ron嘿让我做你的律师Ron,hey,letmebeyourlawyer.我会反对任何人说的所有事情llobjecttoeverythinganyonesays,审讯一直结束
4、不了你就不用付钱了trialwillgoonforever,youdonthavetopay.问题解决Problemsolved.很善良的提议AndrewThatsakindoffer,Andrew,但我不会雇律师的butIwontbehiringanattorney.我会代表自己llrepresentmyself,就像在所有法律事务和牲畜拍卖♥♥中一样asIdoinalllegalmattersandlivestockauctions.我希望我们能有四千六百万Iwishwehad$46million.我们可以买♥♥下我父母的房&hear
5、ts;子然后把他们驱逐出去Wecouldbuymyparentshouseandevictthem.很意外他对此反应这么正常Surprisedhestakingitthiswell.啊Aghh!April能拜托联♥系♥一下维修部门吗April,couldyoucallmaintenanceplease?公园与游憩公园与游憩第5季第17集第5季第17集好的向左边移♥动♥一点点Okay,movealittlebittoyourleft然后转过身来andthenturntotheside.好的保持不动Okay,andfreeze.就是在这个位置
6、Thatistheexactspot一个18岁的BenWyatt举♥行♥了就职典礼wherean18-year-oldBenWyattwasinaugurated成为明尼苏达州鹏鸽城的市长asmayorofPartridge,Minnesota.哦嗯非常感谢是的也祝贺你Oh,well,thankyouverymuch.Yes,congratulationstoyou.我也不知道-我起鸡皮疙瘩了1dontknow.-1havechills.不敢相信他们终于要把城市钥匙给我了Cantbelievetheyrefinallygivingmethekeytothecity.
7、不敢相信居然花了这么久Icantbelieveittooksolong.镇历史上的每一任市长他们都给了钥匙Theygavethekeytoeveryothermayorinthetownshistory,而我保证他们之中没有人有你这么可爱的屁♥股♥andIguaranteethatnoneofthemhadascuteabuttasyoudo.也没有人让这个城市的失业率飙升到30%啊Andnoneofthemcausedthecity,sunemploymentratetohit30%.你讨论百分比的时候真的好性感Youresosexywhenyoutalkabou
8、tpercentages.Ben任市.长的时候他把镇上所有的钱WhenBenwasmayor,hesunkallofthetownsmoney拿来开了一家冬季体育场叫做“冰城”intoawintersportscomplexcalledIceTown,然后他们就破产了andtheywentbankrupt.现在他们出于友好的姿态邀请他回来Nowtheyveinvitedhimbackasagestureofgoodwill,而他终于能让人生中的这个悲惨章节有个结局了andhellfinallygetsomeclosureonthismiserablechapterinhislife.耶BenY
9、ay,Ben!小镇英雄Townhero!是的-呜Yes!-Whoo!哎呀这不是被告人RonSwan衰吗Well,ifitisntthedefendant,RonSwansuck.你为啥要这么做JammWhyareyoudoingthis,Jamm?星际传奇ChroniclesofRiddick这场官司简直是星际扯淡ThislawsuitisChroniclesofRiddick-ulous.我告诉你为啥lltellyouwhy.因为我受够了你们公园娱乐这帮人了ItscausemsickofthiswholeParksandRecgang.就是为啥Thatswhy.这个傻♥逼&he
10、arts;把我扔进了游泳池Thismunchthrowsmeintoaswimmingpool.S05E03HowABillBecomesALaw那个护士还是不愿意跟我上♥床♥Thenursestillwonthavesexwithme,她甚至都不是拉拉andshesnotevenqueer.现在Swan衰在我嘴上来了一拳NowSwansuckpunchesmeinthemouth.在我们Jamm家里这就叫做.ItswhatweintheJammfamilycall.“复仇时刻”Paybacktime.所有人都这么叫啊Everyonecallsitthat.是啊因为
11、是我发明的Yeah,becauseIinventedit.是你才不会赢得五千万呢你个怪人Yeah,yourenotgonnawin$50million,youfreak.或许不会Maybenot,但我才不会不赢得空手而归butmnotnotgoingtowinnothing.PaulPaul.那家伙就是个笑话Thatguyisajoke.这场诉讼肯定会驳回的Thislawsuitisdefinitelygettingthrownout.我不知道啊那些可是Jean-Ralphio的律师1dontknow,thoseareJean-Ralphio1Slawyers.他们曾经给他搞到了$60,000
12、Theyoncegothim$60,000仅仅因为他在一个鬼屋觉得太害怕了causehegottooscaredatahauntedhouse.好了你搞定了吗我们搞定了吗我们赢吗Okay,areyoudone?Arewedone?Didwewin?这个没有输赢的-什么你都可以赢Youcantwinthis.-Youcanwinatanything.去年我赢得了一场有机园艺比赛1.astyearIwonanorganicgardeningcontest.你是和谁在竞争啊Whowereyoucompetingagainst?我自己的味蕾Myowntastebuds.我想要个小孩而Chris同意做父
13、亲Iwannahaveababy,andChrishasagreedtobethefather.我的生育顾问给我了这个在线测试Myfertilitycounselorshowedmethisonlinequiz来确定我们是不是合适做父母thatdetermineswhetherwedbecompatibleparents.如果这是80年代的话我们需要做的就是Ifthiswerethe80s,allwedhavetodois,like,一天别搞碎一个鸡蛋就行notdropaneggforawholeday.愚蠢的互联网StupidInternet好了我们的官方合作父母分数是.Okay,ourof
14、ficialco-parentingscoreis.58%匹配度58%compatibility.不是很棒Notamazing.哦我觉得非常好啊Oh,Ithinkit,sfantastic.我觉得真的是我们能期待的最好分数了Ithinkitsliterallythebestscorewecouldhavehopedfor.不确定真是这样Notsurethatthatstrue.哦巧哎我刚刚也玩了一下0h,snap!Ijustfilleditoutforfun.Chris和我是81%匹配ChrisandIare81%compatible.你想要个宝宝吗TraegerYouwannamakeaba
15、by,Traeger?你的头发我的其他一切Yourhair,myeverythingelse.那个孩子简直会所向披靡Thatkidwouldbeunstoppable.伙计们我也没忍♥住我也做了Guys,Icouldntresist.Ididittoo.Ann和我有84%AnnandIgot84%.嗯这也太烂了是的我们没有赢Well,thissucks.-Yes,wedidnotwin.所以Ben以前是个蛮横的哥哥吗Sowas,like,Benabossyolderbrother?他逼你看星球大战电影吗DidhemakeyouwatchStarWarsmovies?逼我吗Makeme?我跟他一样喜欢那些电影啊Ilovedthosemoviesjustas
