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1、人们都说洛杉矶没有四季之分Peoplesaythattherearenoseasonsin1.osAngeles.想象我们每天都是晴朗的22度Imaginingallofourdaysasperfectlysunnyand72degrees.其实这说的是圣地亚哥ThatsactuallySanDiego.洛杉矶居民知道多雨的冬天一般都会被太过短暂的春天取代Angelenosknowhowrainywintergiveswaytoatoo-shortspring,夏天以阴沉的天空开始以无情的炎热结束thatsummerstartswithgloomyskiesandendswithunrelen
2、tingheat.圣塔安娜风开始吹拂时会怎样AndwhathappenswhentheSantaAnasstarttoblow.红旗火灾警告日干燥的风吹过山脉和峡谷Drywindsthattearthroughthemountainsandcanyons当它们降落在城市时会加快速度和力量pickingupspeedandstrengthastheydescendonthecity.吹倒电线将树木连根拔起让人心不安Downingpowerlines,uprootingtreesandunsettlingpsyches.从偏头痛到离婚率上升一切都归咎于它Blamedforeverythingfro
3、mmigrainestoariseinthedivorcerate.圣塔安娜风让我们精疲力竭.theSantaAnaswearusdown.潜入我们的梦中让我们咬牙切齿Creepingintoourdreamsandsettingourteethonedge.每一阵风都增加了一种怪异而普遍的感觉Everygustaddingtotheeerie,pervasivesense那就是我们可能要被清算了thatareckoningmaybeuponus.或者就像琼狄迪恩所说Or,asJoanDidionsaid.阿门Amen.“风让我们看到了我们离崩溃有多近”Thewindshowsushowclo
4、setotheedgeweare.紧急呼救三天前嘿你今晚工作吗我没看到你在排班表上Oh,hey!Youworkingtonight?Ididntseeyouontheschedule.贾米尔需要紧急根管治疗我就说替他的班Jamalneedsanemergencyrootcanal.Saiddcover.你好像不太开心Youseemveryupsetaboutthat.不是只是我过来的时候绕四次路No.It,sjust.Ihitfourdetoursonthewayhere.两次是遇到了掉落的大树枝Twofallentreelimbs,一次是一个白♥痴♥撞上了消防栓o
5、nerandomidiotwhodroveintoafirehydrant,还有出于某种原因阿尔瓦拉多路完全封锁了andforsomereasonAlvaradoiscompletelyclosed.玉米粉蒸肉节Tamalefestival.在2022“风害末日”期间举办吗InthemiddleofWindpocalypse2022?所以我特意空出时间来处理大混乱ThisiswhyIschedulearoundthesecrazyshifts.就像满月一样不知何故圣塔安娜风让人们认为Justlikefullmoons,somehowtheSantaAnasmakepeoplethink犯蠢和不
6、理智是没关系的it,sokaytobedumbandirrational,然后他们就做出愚蠢的选择造成愚蠢的紧急事件andthentheygoandmakedumbchoices,leadingtodumbemergencies.我说过他们很蠢了吗-我觉得你可能说了-DidImentiontheyredumb?-Ithinkyoumighthave.-目前接到了多少电♥话♥-就几个都是常见的情况-Howmanycallssofar?-Uh,justafew,youknow,usualstuff.几个喝醉惹事的还有几个被飞伞击中的Yeah,afewdrunkanddi
7、sorderlies.Somepeoplehitbyaflyingumbrella.鹦鹉刺伤什么-Thatparrotstabbing.-What?-鹦鹉怎么会刺伤人-其实是鹦鹉被用作了刺伤工具-Howdoesaparrotstabsomeone?-Theywereactuallystabbedwithaparrot.是个鹦鹉雕像这个有点奇怪ItWaS,like,aparrotstatue.Thatonewasalittleweird.但不是我们见过最奇怪的Butnottheweirdestwe,veeverseen.就把这当作普通的大风夜Well,thinkofitasyouraverage
8、windynight.能有多糟糕Howbadcanitbe?在今天早些时候发布的一份声明中洛杉矶消防局提到Inastatementreleasedearliertoday,the1.AFDannounced洛杉矶消防局全市范围事故红旗火灾警报他们将在两年内首次推行红旗火灾警报停车区itsgoingtobeenforcingredflagparkingzonesforthefirsttimeintwoyears.就从今晚午夜左右开始Theyllbestartingaboutmidnighttonight.兰尼没事的快下来1.enny.It,sokay.Comeondown.妈妈我没办法让它平静下
9、来Mom,Icantcalmherdown.为什么要放烟花Whyaretherefireworks?大周一晚上8点的这是在庆祝什么WhatareWecelebratingat8:00onaMonday?很明显他们不喜欢宠物或者环境Obviouslytheydontlikepetsortheenvironment.也许你♥爸♥爸到家后能帮助它Maybeyourdadwillbeabletohelpherwhenhegetshome.-他通常不是现在就到家了吗-都怪圣塔安娜风-Well,isnthenormallyhomebynow?-ItstheSantaAnas.公
10、♥司♥从来雇不够人处理倒塌的电线Thecompanyneverhiresenoughworkerstodealwithallthedownedpowerlines.外面的风真的很大-不兰尼站住-It,sreallykickingupoutthere.-No,no,1.enny!Stop!-我去拿手电筒-我去拿零食罐-1Igettheflashlight.-llgetthetreatcontainer.我很抱歉亲爱的它可能只是躲起来了msosorry,honey.Shesprobablyjusthiding.但它要是被车撞或者被土狼攻击怎么办Butwhatifsheg
11、etshitbyacar?Orattackedbyacoyote?嘿我们会找到它的Hey,hey,weregonnafindher.它现在一定很害怕Shemustbesoscaredrightnow.这样吧我会Youknowwhat,I-I1你准备上♥床♥唾觉我去外边再找一会gooutandlooksomemorewhileyouregettingreadyforbed.烟花看起来还要再放一阵子也许它会出来找我ThefireworksarentgoingOfmaybeshellcomeoutforme.这是个好主意好-Thatsagreatidea.-Okay.-谢
12、天谢地兰尼你让我们担心死了-Oh,thankGod!-Oh,1.enny,youhadussoworried.那是什么Whatyougotthere?这里是911你有什么紧急情况狗刚才叼来了一只手.一只手吗-对断掉的手-Ahand?-Yes,a-aseveredhand.不兰尼不要叼起来了放下No,1.enny.Dontpickitupagain.Dropit.你们知道那是谁的手吗Well,doyouknowwhosehanditis?不知道我们的狗跑掉了然后叼着它回来了No.Ourdogranawayandthencamebackwithit.你确定那是真手吗-我不知道-Areyousure
13、it,sreal?-Idon,tknow.上面全是血很恶心I-Itsbloodyandgross,我觉得兰尼在带它回家之前把它当做咀嗡玩具了andIthink1.ennyuseditasachewtoybeforeshebroughtitin.好的你能把手捡起来吗Okay.Canyoupickupthehand?捡起来吗Pickitup?我需要你告诉我断肢是不是热的Well,Ineedyoutotellme-ifthefleshisstillwarm.一天啊断肢妈妈你好娇气-Oh,God.Flesh.-Mom,youresosqueamish.是热的吗Isit.isitwarm?绝对是的Def
14、initely.对是热的Okay,yes,yes,itswarm.好的这意味着它一定是最近才被切断的Allright.Thatmeansthatitmust,vebeenseveredfairlyrecently.好了我把冷却器拿过来了Okay,Ivegotthecooler.我们帮你把手放进冰里保存Weregonnakeepitoniceforyou.不等一下别把手直接放进冰里No,no,no,wait.Donotputthehanddirectlyonice.我们要怎么处理这只手Whatdowedowithit?把手放进塑料袋Putthehandinaplasticbag然后在冰块和附肢之
15、间放一条毛巾andthenplaceatowelbetweentheiceandtheappendage.然后呢Andthenwhat?等待急救人员到达希望我们能找到主人Waitfortheparamedicstoarriveandhopewecanfindtheowner.每年我都在想“好吧就是这样我们现在已经见识过一切了”Everyyear,Ithink,Well,that,sit.Weveseeneverythingnow,然后圣塔安娜风来临我就想“看吧更奇怪的事”andthentheSantaAnasblowin,anditslike,oh,look,somethingweirder.就是断手而已我们之前见过It,saseveredhand.We,veseenthosebefore.通常它的主人都在附近Yeah,usuallyinthegeneralvicinityofitsowner
