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1、那天晚上我正开着车Somdrivingmycartheothernight,知道发生什么了吗andwhatdoyouthinkhappens?我撞到了电线杆上Icrashedintoautilitypole.更惨的是Then,toaddinsulttoinjury.我被电打了Iwaselectrocuted.真是无语Whatcan1say?就那么发生了Itwasoneofthosedays.所有邻居都听到了Allmyneighborsheardithappen,她们很快放下了卷饼sotheyquicklylefttheirmicrowavedburritos.价格不菲的润肤霜Andtheire
2、xpensivejarsofmoisturizer.计费电影Andtheirracypay-per-viewmovies.冲到外面Andtheyhurriedoutside,想知道究竟发生了什么事excitedtoseewhatalltheruckuswasabout她们看到是我时Butthen,whentheysawitwasme,奇怪的事情发生了thisweirdthinghappened.片刻寂静大家站着不动Foramoment,noonemovedorsaidanything.只是盯着我Theyjuststared.然后Andthen.天哪Oh,mygod.大家一阵躁动Allhellb
3、rokeloose.有人懂心肺复苏吗DoesanybodyknowC.P.R.?这里发生了意外Theresbeenanaccident.伊迪Edie!能听到我说话吗Canyouhearme?是的大家都开始关心我Yes,everyonesuddenlybecameveryconcerned,这很让我感动whichwastouching,但最终还是无济于事butultimatelypointless.急救车到达之前Momentsbeforetheambulancefinallyarrived,我听到有人小声说Iheardsomeonewhisper.伊迪不要担心Dontworry,Edie.会过去
4、的你会没事的Youregonnagetthroughthis.Youregonnabejustfine.苏珊梅尔又错rSusanMayer.wrongagain.两秒之后Twosecondslater,ithappened.在所有邻居的注视KWithallofmyneighborssurroundingme,我咽下了最后一口气Itookmylastbreath.也有好的一面Thegoodnews?虽然我死了IdiedjustlikeIlived.但仍像活着一样是大家瞩目的焦点Asthecompleteanduttercenterofattention.在我升♥天♥两
5、日之后TwodaysafterIkickedtheproverbialbucket,我丈夫让邻居们帮个忙myhusbandaskedmyneighborstodomeafavor.从她们的表情你可以看出Youcouldtellfromthelooksontheirfaces她们并不情愿itwasn,tsomethingthey.wantedtodo,但她们最后还是答应了but.theyagreedtodoitanyway.然后第二天她们聚在车里Sothenextday,theypiledintoacar带着两个装满咖啡的保温瓶withtwothermosesfilledwithcoffee,一
6、个装满烤饼的篮了abasketfilledwithbakedgoods还有一个装有我的骨灰缸andanurnthatwasfilledwith.me.真讨厌我们要这么做Ihatethatwehavetodothis.你已经说过了我是说这是一个亲人应该做的Soyouvesaid.Imean,itreallyisthekindofthingarelativeshoulddo.也许吧但我们已经在去那的路上了Maybeitis,butwe,reinthecar,onourwaythere,还是别抱怨了那你至少该把广播打开吧sostopyourbitching.Well,canyouatleastput
7、therad100n?如果我能跟着唱歌♥什么的话就不会感觉有抱怨了IwontfeellikebitchingifIcansingalongtosomething.你要唱的话我就开始抱怨Ifyoustartsinging,llstartbitching,你不想吧要坐4个小时的车andyoudon,twantthat.Itsa4-hourdrive.我们要做点事来消磨时间Wehavetodosomethingtopassthetime.我有个建议为什么不谈谈伊迪呢Heresathought.WhydontwetalkaboutEdie?说什么Andsaywhat?不知道但她是我们在车
8、上的原因1dontknow,butsheisthereasonwereonthistrip.也许我们可以谈谈有关她的问忆Uh,maybewecouldsharememoriesortellstories.那就从Mm.Whydontyoustartwiththetime她试图偷你那昏迷不醒的男朋友开始吧shetriedtostealyourcomatoseboyfriend?有意思我在想Thatwasfun.Okay,Iwasthinking伊迪的一些积极方面的事ofstoriesthatputEdieinapositivelight.5分钟就说完了然后呢Andafterthatfiveminu
9、tesisup,thenwhatdowedo?她死了我们尊敬下她吧Thewomanisdead,people.1.etshonorhermemory.我们都想说些好的事Well,mallforsayingafewnicethings.但你们从没做过真正的朋友Butyouwereneverreallyfriends.你跟伊迪从一开始就势不两立YouandEdieclashedrightfromthestart.是啊Yeah.每个人都这么想Thatswhateverybodythinks.但我们第一次见面时Butthethefirsttimewemet,本以为是要成为好朋友的itseemedlik
10、ewedendupbeingthebestoffriends.真恶心Oh,thatsdisgusting.没啥No,itsokay.它掉在了袋子上Itlandedonthedetergentbox.拿去Here.再去买♥♥个新鲜的面包圈Yougobuyyourselfafreshdoughnut或是能缓解疼痛的酒啊之类的东西orbooze,crack,whatevereasesthepain.把它扔了Justmoveitalong.你认为我是流浪汉吗不是Uh,youthinkmhomeless.Oh,no,no,no.我住这里No,Ilivehere.我可以证明I-
11、Icanproveit.这垃圾袋里我都知道有什么Iknowexactlywhatsinthisgarbagebag.空鸡蛋盒咖啡沫Um,emptycartonofeggs,coffeegrinds,洗发水瓶shampoobottle.减肥膏Wartremovalcream?你说对了我是流浪汉Youreright.mhomeless.我是苏珊梅尔SusanMayer.Oh.都弄干净rIt,sallclearedup.伊迪布利特我刚搬进来Mm.EdieBritt.Ijustmovedindownthestreet.我看到搬家汽车了欢迎Oh,yeah.IsawthemovingVan.Welcome
12、.111射谢Thanks.你是一个人还是跟家人一起Soisitjustyou,ordoyouhaveafamily?我有个儿子跟他爸住在一起Ihaveason.Heliveswithhisdad.说来话长下次我们喝酒的时候可以谈Itsalongstory.lltellyouonedayoveraMargarita.你想让我进去喝一杯吗YouwannainvitemeinforaMargarita?咖啡怎么样我刚煮上Howaboutcoffee?Ijustputonapot.好极了Great.你可以告诉我邻居们的事Youcanfillmeinonalloftheneighborhoodgossi
13、p,从对面那红头发开始startingwiththeredheadacrossthestreet拿着松饼篮子像个机器人withthemuffinbasket.Thatsarobot,right?好我们随便聊聊Funnyandlikestogossip.我们会相处得不错的是的We,regonnagetalongjustfine.Yes,weare.等等停下来Wait.Stop.能不能休息一会Couldwejustrestforasecond?我们才过了4条街Weveonlygonefourblocks.好吧我撒谎了Okay,Ilied.我讨厌跑步Ihaterunning.你之前为什么不说Well
14、,whydidn,tyousaysomething?我们都跑了一周了因为我们刚成为朋友Wevebeendoingthisforaweek.Becausewewerestartingtobecomefriends,你喜欢跑步我喜欢andyouliketorun,andIliketo.坐下Sitand.我们中要有一个人妥协Oneofushadtogive.苏珊你好你好海伦Hi,Susan!Oh,hi,Helen,ed.我应该介绍你们认识Iwouldhaveintroducedyou,但她一旦开始说就没完没了butonceHelenstartstalking,shedoesntshutup.是啊爱德跟我说过你见过爱德RightEdtoldmethat.Oh,youmeted?我很了解他Oh,yeah.Ivegottentoknowhimquitewell.为什么Yeah?我们一起Werekinda.做过Doingit做过什么Doingwhat?那个It.爱德结过婚了Edismarried.我是个顽皮的女孩Yeah,manaughtygirl.你这么做不道德,No,yourebeingimmoral.这是通奸罪Yourecommittingadultery.
