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1、并且我需要对我的夫人道歉Andtomywife,Iapologize.我能说的是那不只是性AllIcansayisIwasntjusthavingsex,我是在做♥爱♥和一位美丽的女性Iwasmakinglovetoabeautifulwoman及其男友andherboyfriend,还有一位我不知名字的人士andathirdperson,whosenameIneverlearned.此外我不该谎称Furthermore,itwaswrongofmetosay自己在为低收入群体建房♥子Iwasbuildinghousesfortheunderprivi
2、leged,但实际上我在巴西的一个洞穴里玩4P做♥爱♥whenIwasactuallyhavingfour-waysexinacaveinBrazil.洞穴里做♥爰♥肯定爽翻Ibetcavesexisinsane.为什么Why?因为回声和湿度Becauseoftheechoesandthehumidity.嗯哼Mmm-hmm.出于自辩那天是我生日Inmydefense,itwasmybirthday而且我也很想做and1reallywantedtodoit.人们只盯着丑闻的俗气细节我觉得很丢人Ithinkitsarealshamewhen
3、peoplefocusonthetawdrydetailsofascandal.个人来讲我只关心Dexhart议员的政策Personally,allIcareaboutisCouncilmanDexhart,spolicies.而不是他在洞穴性♥爱♥里吸高了笑气和可♥卡♥因♥的事实Notwhetherhewashighonnitrousandcocaineduringthecavesex.不过我听说确实是Which,bytheway,Iheardhewas.令人震惊的败露竟还没有结束这个故事Onemoreshockingre
4、velationinastorythatjustwontstopunfolding.看来为出轨而道歉的Dexhart议员ItturnsoutCouncilmanDexhartmayhavealsohadsexwithaprostitute在这次新闻发布会的来回路上inthelimousineonthewaytoandfromthepressconference甚至还在豪车内与妓♥女♥车震whereheapologizedforhavinganaffair.PerdHapley第四频道目击者新闻PerdHapley,ChannelFourEyewitnessNews.
5、为什么会有人想竞选公职Whydoesanybodywannarunforpublicoffice?简直是希望完全暴露自己的私生活Yourejustaskingtohaveyourentirelifeexposed.如果你坐怀不乱像我一样那就没问题Well,ifyouresqueakyclean,likeIam,there,snoproblem.Tom你一个已婚人士还一天到晚和女人调情Tom,youremarried,andyouhitonwomenconstantly.是的但我从来不越雷池只是观光Yeah,butIveneversealedthedeal.Justwindow-shopping
6、.飞去巴西但是不进洞对吧YoucanflytoBrazil,justdontenterthecave.AmIright?击掌Uptop!公园与游憩公园与游憩公园与游憩第2季第4集第2季第4集我肯定你觉得自己是干净的msurethatyouthinkthatyou,reclean,但我赌我们能从你身上找点东西butIbetthatwecouldfindsomethingonyou.我换了名字这是合法的Ichangedmyname,whichislegal,然后高中有一次在摔跤比赛中输给了女孩子andonceinhighschool,agirlbeatmeinawrestlingmatch.就这些
7、了Thatsit.我能在你们身上找到更见不得人的随便打赌IbetanythingIcouldfindworseStuffonallyouguys.你是在发起游戏吗Areyousuggestingagame?我加入-还有我min.-min.我就算了你没选择JeITymout.-Notanoption,Jerry.你完蛋Youregoingdown.不正经的我真的不想参与No,seriously,Ireallydontwannaplay.不不正经的你得参与我们会打败你No,no.Seriously,youareplaying.We,regonnanailyou.我也加入Iwillplay,too,
8、但只是为了证明我会在你们身上找到更多的脏事ifonlytoprovethatIcanfindmoredirtonyouthanyoucanonme.这就是我们玩的原因啊Thatswhywe,reallplaying.你的桌子在那边呢Yourdeskisoverthere.我喜欢让人针锋相对的游戏Ilovegamesthatturnpeopleagainsteachother.你们绝对想不到我刚在Jerry的Facebook上发现了什么YouguyswillneverbelievewhatIjustfoundonJerrysFacebook.一个好友伤到啦Afriend.Burn.好吧再说一次我
9、真的不想玩Okay,again,dreallyrathernotplay.嘿大伙都在干嘛呢Hey,guys.Whatareyouguysdoing?我们在互挖对方的黑历史Tryingtoseewhohastheleastamountofdirtonthem看谁的少到能去竞选incasesomeonewantstorunforoffice.肯定不是Jerry了我确定Well,itaintJerry.Thatsforsure.什么What?嗯他身上有几个359随地小便Well,hesgotacoupleof359sonhim.Publicurination.我不喜欢这个游戏真的不喜欢Idontli
10、kethisgame.Ijustdontlikeit.他估计被气到去院子里尿rHesprobablygonnagoanger-peeinthecourtyard.你们这帮公园疯子我走了Well,youcrazyparkpeople,moutofhere.1.eslie我们明天见1.eslie,I1seeyoutomorrow.明天是我们的Tomorrow,willbeour第一次正式首次约会firstofficial.Firstdate.收到Rogerthat.收到通话完毕Copy.Overandout.Dave和我明天第一次约会DaveandIaregoingonourfirstdateto
11、morrow.我不紧张mnotnervous.我为什么要紧张呢WhyshouldIbenervous?我们就是两个首次约会的人而已Werejusttwopeoplegoingonafirstdate.没什么需要紧张的Theresnothingtobenervousabout.那是我的手♥机♥Thatwasmyphone.嘿-嘿你好啊Hey.-Hey.Hithere.你在你来这里干什么Whatareyou.Whatareyoudoinghere?就来和LeSlie吃个饭你要去哪JusthavinglunchwithLeslie.Whatareyouupto?哦我在寻找
12、我同事的丑闻Oh,mlookingforscandalousinformationaboutmyco-workers,这是个游戏foragamethatwe,replaying.我交的税付你的工资对吧Mytaxespayyoursalary,right?是的一棒哦Yeah.-Cool.然后他抬头看着我Andhelookedupatme,他说“谢谢你救了我的命andhesaid,Thankyou.Yousavedmylife.嗯听我说明天约会我真的很紧张Yeah.Hey,listen,mreallynervousaboutthisdatetomorrownight.你有类似第一次约会装我可以借用
13、吗Doyouhave,like,afirstdateoutfitIcanborrow?比如我不知道工装裤之类的1.ike,Idontknow,apairofcargopants?要是我就不会穿工装裤Yeah,Iwouldntgowithacargopant.或者性感的帽子呢Whatabout,like,asexyhat?我甚至不知道那是什么意思Idontknowwhatthatevenis.已经帮上了Helpingalready.你今天下班之后就来一趟吧Doyouwannajustcomebyafterworktoday?好啊行今晚Sure.Yeah.Tonight?几个小时之后Several
14、hoursfromnow?或者你现在就过来Oryoucouldjustcomeovernow?我觉得更好Ithinkthatwouldbebetter.是的时间充足些我们走Yeah,thatwouldgiveusmoretime.Letsgo.哦你们做什么呢Oh,whatyoudoing,guys?挖我的黑历史吗没用的1.ookingfordirtonme?Nopoint.放弃吧Giveupnow.哦等等这有个东西Oh,wait,theresthis.各位我早上买♥♥了个牛角三明治Everybody,IboughtaCroissan1Wichthismorning.
15、这都不是收据只是张纸Thisisntevenarealreceipt.Justascrapofpaper.塔♥利♥班♥袍子！Talibanrobes!什么What?哪搞到的照片Wheredyougetthatphotofrom?嘿Tom好漂亮的塔♥利♥班♥袍子Hey,Tom.NiceTalibanrobes.那些不是塔♥利♥班♥袍子ThosearentTalibanrobes.那是十年前的万圣节我扮成绝地武士ThatsfromHalloween,10yearsago.IwasdressedlikeaJedi.我觉得选民们能分出区别的msurethatthevoterswouldbeablet
